SNEK INBOX

[hardpity]

[ for texts and voice messages or whatever ]

Comments

[hardpity]

Soft waterboarding.

[righteel]

I believe I will...just have to somewhat eel categorize them.

[hardpity]

You're eelzoning your whole team?

[righteel]

Yes and no...close enough anyways? I just have to think about it as I would the Leech brothers.

I am not their boss. I cannot make them do anything. They are going to pursue their interests above all else. Sometimes I can convince them to do something or do something my way, but ultimately I will have to appeal to their interests and know that they are following it for their own reasons, not for my sake.

[hardpity]

...

Sometimes Ember eats people and then their team murders the shit out of us. So kinda like that?

[righteel]

...eats them for enrichment or...?

[hardpity]

For sustenance. Like also for enrichment but mostly for sustenance.

[righteel]

That is a bit silly to go after a whole team for the actions of one person. However, that does give you the right to return the favor… Going all out against them in conflicts.

[hardpity]

I don't think there's a level of all out we can do that'll get us ahead of the sheer amount of how much everyone wants us dead.

[righteel]

Obviously I cannot promise much, but I will do my best to look out for Rabbit as much as I can within Mouse’s voting.

[hardpity]

The sentiment is appreciated, but I also know we probably won't be able to be prioritized unless we like. Fake being betrothed or something. But the sentiment is appreciated.

[righteel]

Hmmm…do we believably seem like we could be betrothed?

[hardpity]

I dunno, maybe? We wouldn't be a weirder couple than my parents.

[righteel]

Well...husband WOULD trump boyfriends and friends as far as protection goes...

[hardpity]

You'd get Ortho as a little brother in-law too.

[righteel]

You make an excellent point.

[hardpity]

I'd jokingly croon my net worth but I think that's too likely to actually seduce you.

[righteel]

I calculated it myself not long after we found out exactly who you are as an exercise in my spare time. The research was rather interesting...obviously there was not much in regards to readily available figures or information, so I had to work with comparables and projections, but I think I was able to get rather close.

[hardpity]

[ AZUL.... bursts out laughing dsfkgljfd perfect capitalism octopus. soothing. healing ]

[righteel]

Hence, I will proceed to both croon and swoon on your behalf.

"Ooooh, Mr.Shroud~! What a big net worth you have~!"

[hardpity]

[ WHEEZE laughs until he has a coughing fit then has to take a minute to collect himself but #noregrets #stanazulashengrotto ]

[righteel]

If I have to eat flesh, it had better be worth at least seven figures per pound.

[hardpity]

I'm a traditionalist too, so no eating before marriage.

[righteel]

Ah, of course. I should have expected, but....are aperitifs allowed? Hors d'oeuvres?

[hardpity]

Before we were retroactively betrothed, my fiance told me 'don't offer to let anyone eat you, not even me, not even a little'.